So far on this blog I have talked a bit about my depression. I even claimed I am suicidal. However, just over a month ago, I was at one of my lowest lows. Over the past 14 months, I have tried all of the “right” things to manage my depression: exercise, diet, seeing my doctor, medication, essential oils, getting more sleep, seeing a counselor, meditation, prayer, reading inspiring stories, smiling when I don’t feel like it, talking to trusted friends, etc. Just when I start to think that maybe I have beat this mental illness, I crash. Sometimes I crash hard. It feels as though I have been treading water for so long and I simply can’t tread any longer. So I begin to drown. I literally feel as though I am suffocating.
When I hit these lows, it takes every ounce of energy and willpower to get out of bed, make sure the children are eating something and I attempt to either do the dishes, or run a load of laundry. Although there have been days when I simply have not gotten out of bed.
On this particular day, I felt defeated and physically it had caused a migraine headache. After trying my natural methods of drinking lots of water and applying essential oils, I reached for the Extra Strength Tylenol. As I began to take one, I wondered how many of them it would take to overdose. So I Googled it. Luckily, my husbands accounts and search engines are linked enough in some weird and creepy way to mine, an ad almost instantly popped up on his computer. He asked me if I had just searched how to overdose on Tylenol. I said yes. We talked hugged, and cried together until I was able to fall asleep.
I had a girls weekend planned two weeks later. My first girls weekend away ever. I was so excited to get some “me” time to recharge and refresh. We just so happened to be moving (yes, again!) and were able to move into our house the day before I was supposed to go on my trip. Everything takes longer than you’d expect it to, especially moving. I couldn’t leave Friday night as planned. I was still cleaning the old house on Saturday morning and called in reinforcements to help me finish. It started snowing and the roads did not look good. I was ready to cancel my trip. But boy I knew I needed that trip.
To make a long story short, I made it on my way and did so without harm or accident. I spent hours chatting with some dear friends. I met new friends. I spent a day at Disneyland with only grown women and we acted like children. I missed my children dearly, because it had been a long time since I had the opportunity to miss them. Our last day was spent at an event called “Day Away” put on by Perfectly Posh. My college roommate and dear friend has been a consultant for this company since they launched. I have used and liked their products and Day Away is a chance to try out their newly launched products. We wore pink, we gave ourselves pedicures, we rubbed amazing smelling lotions on our feet and hands, and we listened to the CEO’s of the company talk about why they took a chance on their dreams and launched this business. We were given cards and asked to take a selfie with it. Here is mine:
As corny as it sounds, this day changed my life. Holding the “You Deserve It” card nudged at my heart. I learned that Perfectly Posh is a product line that’s designed to pamper and nothing else.
I decided that day that I didn’t even care if I make a penny off my new business venture, I want to spend my time pampering other women, because we all deserve to be pampered. Our skin is our bodies largest organ. We only get one set of it. We have the privilege to treat it with gentle and natural ingredients and to have fun doing it. In the past few weeks, although mental illness has still been a battle some days, my heart feels lighter, my skin feels better and I have a newfound purpose: to be more pampered.